How Soon Is New Year Well Wishing Old?

  Yay! It’s 2015 and has been for about a week now. It could be more or less depending on how quickly I get this post nailed to the wall. Everyone is still wishing everyone a Happy New Year, Happy Holidays, and – the one that is most feared by the politically correct – Merry Christmas. Yes, even on the ninth day of the new year, Christmas well wishing is still floating around. I am an extrovert and I am exhausted or is it boredom? Exborestedom?

  Sometimes I just respond with the traditional mimicked response. I am sincere, I don’t want anyone to have a  bad year. The conversation doesn’t usually end there though. What did you do? Where did you go? Who did you see? What did you get? To be fair these questions are all well a good the first couple of days back to the grind. Then it turns into some kind of fan made Groundhog Day, but not really. So how long do we keep saying this stuff?

  Well according to my math, which includes using a calculator, Photoshop, rounding, and guesstimation, at least another two weeks would be acceptable. As when a year is put into the same scale as a week, we are still somewhere in Monday morning. The math isn’t exact. I didn’t account for February. I didn’t care that I lost half a month. Is it a leap year?

  For those of you thinking I am out of touch and cynical, here is a little exercise for you. Imagine yourself on a Monday or whatever day it is that is the beginning of your work week. It is the “worst” day of your first world life. All you want to be doing is whatever it was you were doing the days prior. Instead you are at work. All day long, literally everyone you run into says “Happy Monday!” or “Good Morning!” Even after the sun has gone down, at three in the afternoon because you live in Canada!

  Now that we are all good and cynical together, here is an example of a conversation with some snappy things to say. You are on your break and run into that person with the smile on their face because they were smarter than you and took extra days off. “Happy New Year!” they exclaim. “You wishin’ or askin’?” you inquire rhetorically. Next, you immediately add something like “I don’t know, it is too early to say,” or “How about I let you know in 350?” Honestly, you have to start getting a little creative after the umpteenth instance of this conversation. You will go nuts if you don’t. A couple of roughly guesstimated weeks is a long time.

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