A few years back I inherited an old busted ass laptop from my sister in law. It had been handed down to her as well. I had to admit that it was slow and heavy. To top it all off, it had no WiFi.
The first thing I did was get a lightweight Linux distribution, Xubuntu, on it. Second thing I did was slap an Apple sticker on the back. How cool was I, plugging my heavy ass, blue and black, non-widescreen format laptop into the ethernet port at the coffee shop? I am sure some apple hipster was all “whoa look at that retro Mac that guy is pulling out of his back pack. Seriously, I hope he is lifting with his legs and not with his back!”
When we moved into our new place I told my wife I would get rid of it. I had put several more years on it and the hard drive would make clicking sounds and seemed generally unwell. It had been a fun ride over the past few years. Times are tough though and you got to give up some stuff to live in a better place.
I couldn’t bring myself to do it though and just drove around with it in the trunk for about a year. Then one night our car, along with several others in the parkade, was broken into. When we came down stairs the trunk had been thoroughly rifled through. The laptop was still there, but the lid was up. I guess the apple sticker had some curb appeal, although the dumb asses couldn’t read the Toshiba logo right by it I guess.
After that, I dragged the old girl back upstairs and she now sits on the file cabinet below my desk. She is up there in her years and can’t run much of anything these days. Recently I have been thinking about getting a new laptop. I spend most of my time writing so just something cheap, quick and light is all that I need. Aside from the lack of WiFi, I loved the portability of my old Ubuntu box.
Here in Vancouver, on the same day the world was swept up in the story of Cecil The Lion, another story broke. A video had been posted and picked up by a local media outlet. In the video a man is continually berating a woman who had opened his car door to provide temperature relief for the dog he had left in his car. Word has it that when she posted the video, she didn’t think it would blow up the way it did. Apparently she hadn’t been on the internet at all in her life or realized that, as a species, that is what we do. Judge the shit out of people based on the little context and few bits of information we have with little empathizing. In the end the video kind of disappeared because the guy has some sort of mental issue.
Also in Vancouver, water restrictions have been in effect for the past month or so. God help people that have green lawns for whatever reason. For instance living on a downward slope that is in shade most of the day can prevent the grass from being sunscorched and give the appearance that it has been watered. Some people are assholes and if are caught watering should be reported to the proper authorities, not on social media. Who knows if said asshole will even see the message. I think that is the point. We want to tell someone, but don’t have the chutzpah to report them to the authorities. If we don’t have the testicular fortitude for that, we certainly do not have enough to actually go knock on someone’s door and tell them they are being assholes.
We’ve evolved just enough to invent pitchforks, torches and the internet. Really quite amazing that we don’t hurl our own fecal matter. Point at something and tell us to hate it and we will. Oh boy will we hate the shit out of whatever it is. The dentist that killed the lion has shut down his practice, his house has been graffitied. I assume his family is also suffering from his stigma.
Don’t get me wrong for what I am going to say next. I was angry when I heard about Cecil. As a vegetarian it seems my blood sugar is always a little low when I hear about animal issues and I tend to get a little hot under the collar. At this point in time though, the doctor has been harassed enough. The wheels of justice have started to turn. He may face extradition charges and that is up to the legal system to decide what to do with him. It is time for everyone outside of his house, business, and everywhere else to move on.
Can’t wait for a few months when we all put on our pink shirts and tell kids to quit bullying each other. To tell them to not make fun of children, to not form groups that attack the few and weak, to not harass them on the internet. I know the media outlet who picked up the video of the guy yelling at the girl sure will be touting that.
I have had two long weekends back to back. While my blogging schedule has been nuked from orbit, I have been loving life. Just got back from a wedding. All in all it was a great time! I am starting to think I may just be a fan of weddings. Sometimes I get a little teary eyed and weddings usually seem to be a pretty good time.
Speaking of good times, I went for a run the last day there. I like to run in new towns and places. Kind of like collecting sports cards except I’m collecting experiences of running in different places. As I stopped to ask a woman where my landmark, Mr. PG was, I finished my thought and invented a rejected Prince George pick-up line “because Mr. XXX is standing right in front of you.” I know it is a groaner. I am a terrible person for thinking it, but I can’t shut the jokes off.
When I got back, everyone was still asleep. I decided to walk around the hotel and wound up at the pool. I read the sign, it requested that people with discharging noses, eyes, ears, wounds and wearing band-aids do not use the pool. Judging by the three Band-Aids I found by my towel, I may have been one of the cleanest people in the pool. Even though, in a penultimate display of giving zero foo-chezzes and not to go back to the room and waking up my wife rifling through the suitcase for swimming trunks. I just jumped in the pool! I mean they are running shorts, which for all intents and purposes are swimming trunks, albeit a little thinner. I was incredibly mindful when getting out of the pool to ensure I wasn’t showin’ it all off. Don’t want to give it away for free. Also, the water was really cold so conditions weren’t the best.
Many of fellow bloggers have already long passed this milestone and are nearing much higher numbers, but this is my one hundredth post! Sure, there was one reblog and one post that wasn’t all that great, but they all count as posts though! The same way all your kids count as kids, even the one you don’t like as much as the others. So, in this moment of celebration, I am going to dump liquid from a bottle on the floor. In a display that is lesser than or equal to how much money I have earned from this blog. After preemptively digging through the recycling bin for a glass milk bottle and filling it with tap water, I am ready to do this! Oh, how the water’s pitter patter on the laminate makes my bladder say, “‘Ello!”
I moved over to wordpress at the end of November 2014 and brought the fifteen posts from my blogspot blog with me. I had been posting somewhat weekly and once I moved over to WordPress began posting more steadily. For the last month, I posted each and everyday. I have to admit that while I loved writing every day, it was difficult to do. Some days there were posts that could only be classified as squeakers.
With that life lesson under my belt, I would like to make a few announcements and once again bite off more than I can chew, then proceed to chew it. Firstly, I am starting another blog with my wife. Something a little different. Some place where I can stretch my high falutin legs. A blog with a little more class and more art and images. A blog with posts that readers want to read by candle light, with chocolates by their side. The Standards of Living will be launching early to mid August. Don’t even bother looking for it now, I have it hidden.
My second announcement needs an analogy. I am a runner and when I first started running two years ago I wasn’t sure if I would stick with it. Once I had hit one hundred kilometers, I knew it was a real deal. In hindsight, I knew I was going to stick with running and I should have started referring to myself as a runner before the first one thousand kilometers. It would be folly to make the same mistake twice. So, I am calling myself a blogger! No longer the guy that says, “Yeah, I have a blog.” with an aw’ shucks tone, while staring at his feet and kicking a rock.
Thanks for reading, commenting and hitting the like button. For those of you on my social media thank you for retweeting and sharing my posts. Each and every one of those is like a gift to a blogger like me who just wants to get his stuff in front of people. Extra special thanks to amaya911 @ Life of An El Paso Woman for nominating me for my first Liebster. I will get that official and rule abiding post up soon enough and you get two shout outs! Here’s to times ten more posts!