The Blaring of Trump’s Noise

So Much Noise…

Sweet Geezus, it’s a fucking quagmire! One no longer goes online without getting pulled into Trump bullshit. Whether it be for him, against him, or whatever the hell there is in between. There is simply so much shit, so many opinions. Who has the time for this? Does anyone really want to spend their time talking about this guy? Get a hobby! Play with a model train!

Otherwise, it’s like running into a lake from the shore. You’re tracking pretty well then you’re feet hit the water and you begin to slow, just a bit. As the water raises to half-calf, you begin to feel the drag and start waddling. You’re really high-kneeing it a step or two after. Your feet a sinking into the sand ever so slightly. That’s when it happens, you step off the shelf and fully fall in. You gasp as the icy grasp of water enshrouds your no-no’s. The gasp, causes water to enter your airway. You cough to force the water out or your airway and it sounds super disorienting as your underwater. In the state of discombobulation, you inhale once more to cough again. Which causes your lungs to fill. It’s at this point in time that you recall that you can’t even swim. Curious what you were doing running toward the lake with such excitement in the first place. You sink into the silty muck below.


This is more of an observation really. I mean, I’m guilty of contributing to the online noise. I’ve written plenty of blog posts, tweets, and even some facebook posts on the matter. Not that these do much good, or so I hear. People seem to pretty much have their minds made up and are unwilling to budge. I can appreciate that. It’s hard to convey a belief altering thought in a tweet and it’s even harder to find a headline that invites people to have their views challenged. Not to mention that you have to find a person willing to click it in the first place.

Keep On Being Loud!

That being said, in fact, all of this being said, keep doing it. That’s what we’re supposed to do. Acceptance is for people who don’t get the punchline to the joke that we’ve just been told. Complacency is for those who don’t even realize they’ve been told a joke. Keep posting stuff. Good, verifiable stuff. Try to stay as classy as possible. Don’t spread lies, that weakens the cause. Be sure to click on the other sides links to. Then read those things, with an open-ish mind, just in case there isn’t a literary flaming bag of shit inside of that article.

And if anyone wants to make an app or extension that filters out Trump stuff, that would be great. Although, I caution people not to run it all the time. Just when you need some time away.



I’m going to go buy a donut.

Inauguration Day: The Last Day of The Rest of Your Life?


Well, here we go.

Today’s the day. We’ve been waiting in anticipation for quite some time. The suspense is killing me or, at least, it’s making me constipated. In other words, I’m not looking forward to it. In fact, I’ve got a bad feeling about this. I’m not sure if it’s in the pit of my something or somewhere else. Somewhere ever so slightly out of the range of my vision, always at the edge, no matter how fast I turn. Other people really seem to be enjoying it though. To the point that some have big ole boners cloaked in red MAGA branded condemns crowned with a shockingly straight and thick blond pubic patch. It’s Inauguaration Day!

I’m not happy, but I am excited. After all, this is one of those days that the U.S. political system was crafted to keep in check, splitting up power and keeping it in line. And, oh holy shit, if it’s not going to be stress tested. Blatant cronyism and cabinet appointments, so ironic, that they make me wonder if Donald Trump isn’t the self-serving businessman that I think he is, but a hipster.

I get it, it’s certainly different. Maybe this is the change we needed, but I doubt it. This whole situation seems like a ‘roided up version of what got us in the trouble that began over sixteen years ago. It’s almost like that trouble is coming back in final boss form. We’ve given the inmates the keys. Is this what his supporters actually wanted? For the life of me, I can’t empathize with anyone looking forward to what’s about to happen.


Today, I don’t care what you do. Yet, I really do.

Sweatpants Theatre: John Wick, Action Flick For Dog Lovers or Art House Film On The Elusive Female Orgasm?


I’m a pretty busy guy, my dance card is almost always full. For that reason, it’s taken me awhile to watch John Wick. A movie that almost everyone with a penis in my life* can’t recommend enough. Described as stylish and sleek with lots of death, it totally sounds like something I’d totally be into. While that description is apt and the movie delivers an assortment of ass kickings in urban settings filled with noiry darkness and douchey club lights, there were a few things that I didn’t like.

For those who haven’t seen it yet, don’t worry this thing is mostly spoiler free, not that there is much of an opportunity for spoilers. In order to have spoilers, a movie must have a plot and landmarks along the journey. Which are two things John Wick tricks the viewer into thinking it has, but does not. What passes for a plot is really just a trigger that leads to an anthology of fight scenes that happen because someone said they needed to. And because there is no plot, there can be no landmarks.

What I Didn’t Like (Besides The Obvious)

Alright, spoiler warning ahead. This is going to be the only spoiler. You’re a smart person, you know what to do.

What kicks off the story is one of those off-beat trigger things that one would expect from Chuck Palahniuk and sound like it would be hilarious if John Cleese and Terry Jones wrote it. However, none of these folks did. So, no matter how quirky and cynically ironic the premise is, it never seems funny. It also doesn’t help that the characters speak about it in serious dismissive tones the entire movie.

Alright, enough beating around the bush, time to rip off the bandage. Prepare thyself for the spoilers. Some twatty mobsters son, played by consummate weeny Alfie Allen (Theon Greyjoy) kills John Wick’s dog. Which is the last gift from his recently deceased wife. Not only that, it’s a puppy! Who kills a puppy? It was a bit too macabre for me personally. Maybe the writers are cat people and think they are super funny because their mom has always told them so. The entire point never seems to spread its quirky wings and ends up being void of dark humor it so craves by the end of the movie. Yet as a dog lover, I was hungry for revenge.

More of What I Didn’t Like

The characters, for the most part, seem to know it would be better to avoid John Wick, but do nothing to improve their chances of survival. It’s almost like a 80’s slasher flick where the viewer roots for the psycho killer. John Wick’s location is always known. Hell, everyone seems to know where everyone is. I mean, they’re old gangland acquaintances. No one seemed to move on up to the west side. Same old haunts, clubs, lofty penthouses. Yet that doesn’t really put anyone in real danger. Not the kind of danger the danger producer’s could produce. Threat is governed and throttled for the sake of screentime. I don’t recall seeing such truly insipid characters since Prometheus.

The plot as a whole, looks like a EKG reading for a patient in stable condition watching C-Span while eating saltines and water. There simply is no climax, just a few people vying for the spot of main antagonist/”the person voted most likely to have their asses handed to them next,” and doing things to piss off John Wick. It was strange to realize that there was no climax. No sense of closure. No tension. John is a super character, I mean an almost zero fault character. There is also rarely a point where he is in a near death situation that he can’t get out of on his own.  When he is – which is hard to believe after seeing him kill one hundred and forty people – the script fixes it easily enough. It just didn’t seem like he should really screw up.

What I Liked

The fight scenes are what this movie is all about. Of course with two stuntmen at the helm, how could they not be. There’s lots of interlacing of martial arts and guns. I found myself wondering how much cooler Equilibrium would have been with action sequences like this. Then I thought, “And the award for Movie Most Likely To Have Benefitted From Being Written By Kurt Wimmer Goes To -”

The Continental Hotel and, in general, the movie’s world building and history are pretty cool. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Well, that was short. Oh well.

The Verdict

I’m not saying that I need my action movies to be so cerebral that they need to be directed by Werner Herzog. Their stories don’t need to be so serious that I ultimately end up seeing Paul Giamatti put Maggie Smith through a table after she does the splits and punches him in the Tom Johnson’s nutty uncles. However, having respect for the story and having believable characters whose actions adhere to what they say is really important.

If it were sex, this movie would be supremely frustrating. Sure, it would be really good looking sex with plenty growling and bangs. But there is no climax! It just drives around the block for an hour and a half, but never really gets you there. And when you think it’s done, it turns out it has another thirty minutes in it.

If you like action movies, check it out.


As always, I love the likes, shares and comments.

*Are you cringing.

Kidnapping Is So Passe’


When I woke up this morning and saw #BLMKidnapping* trending, I was floored by what I saw and read. Is this where the U.S. is at? The damn thing is a powder keg that seems likely to blow at any moment. Say what you will about baskets of deplorables and Trump’s rhetoric, it takes two to tango. That’s right, both sides are to blame and in this case the dance floor is full and partners are being swapped with nary a care.

Not that it helps being slammed into two groups. Conservative and liberal being used to loosely define a whole lot of people doesn’t seem to be working.  In fact, it seems to be making things worse. How terrible would a sports league with two teams be? Something tells me there would be a lot more hate and resentment at the games. And sure we can side with another subgroup or philosophy. Be libertarian or socialist, it doesn’t matter. We will still be put under the liberal and conservative silos.

Quite possibly the larger issue currently, is communication. Stereotyping, and a deep desire to label people and groups into quick digestible details is wreaking havoc. Wading into social media is a frustrating nightmare. Everyone is just yelling and pointing at another group from the group they’re a part of. People are strangling themselves to label groups as a whole. Will we ever realize that just because some bad people exist in a group that doesn’t mean the rest of the group is bad? You know that person at work who is a total asshole? Well, just because they exist doesn’t mean everyone at work – including yourself – is an asshole. All gun owners aren’t assholes, a fact proven by all of us still being alive. Not all liberals are assholes, nor conservatives. In fact, both groups have some really good people in them. I have friends in both.

In closing, at the risk of sounding corny – but mostly because I just signed up for Amazon Prime – we need to start accepting others and get along. If you haven’t made any resolutions yet, I just gave you one. Accept, get along, and no more kidnapping.


Now to Amazon Prime!

*From what I’ve read, they have nothing to do with BLM. I am not labeling this kidnapping as part of BLM. To do so would be the opposite I’ve what you’ve just read/will read – totally depends on when you read footnotes.