Windows 10. I don’t know what to think about you. Apparently, you will herald a new era of gaming and technology. I have to admit, you had me at free and gaming. I also heard about how it was kind of like 8, but without all the sucky parts. Then I started to find stuff out. Like how you would start charging me for updates after two years. At the sametime 7 and 8 will be supported for many years to come. It isn’t that I am opposed to paying for stuff. It is that I don’t know what paying for updates actually looks like. Can I eventually buy a full copy and get out of these monetized updates? Is this going to be like the cat days of OSX and Snow Leopard?
Then there was that whole bit about automatically downloading onto peoples machines. Even the ones that didn’t reserve a copy. Without so much as a how do you do. Just gobbling up precious monthly gigabytes. On top of that you are apparently a nosey son of a bitch. Looking for cracks and other assorted “nasty” things. While I am not one of those types. I am not sure how I feel about my OS going all, old lady across the street watching out her window between syndicated episodes of Columbo, on me.
At this point, I have a reserved copy that I haven’t installed yet. Every few days it pops up and says “Hey, you wanna have a good time, install me!” I just click the X and close the damn window. I have a funny feeling that if I click anything else I will somehow schedule myself for some sleazy auto install.
Auto install, really? I know it can happen, my wife’s PC just did it. I am sorry honey, I forgot to check the PC at 6 A.M. and cancel any pending install. If you are reading this before I can tell you, don’t worry, all your stuff is still there! There wasn’t any other option. Either, I am going to install right now or in three days. And as promised, you installed in three days. I don’t know how I feel about that. No, I do. I think it is bullshit. It is one thing to pop up a reminder in three days, it is another thing to just auto install. Seems like something malware would do. Not saying you’re malware, just sayin’.
Censored music, really? There should be an account setting for censored or explicit. After all I can block explicit music on my instant mixes. I am thirty-five years old. I know where babies come from. I can stand a few f-bombs in my music. Also, due the fact that I am thirty-five, I have better things to do than to check explicit for each individual song. Because of this I will not be uploading my impressive collection of 90’s gangsta rap. This has been a problem since launch. C’mon. Al’s cool, not Tipper. Save the environment, not people’s ears from f-bombs.
I recently had a birthday. While I don’t feel old, I am sure there is some parent’s hand me down iPhone wielding, tiny plastic skateboard riding, training hipster out there that will notify me that I am not a spring chicken. Anyway, I have been around a while. My wife felt that I should get a gift that matched the occasion. After getting me liquored up she got me to spill the beans on what kind of gift she could procure that would match the gravity of the situation. After we got home, she pulled out her credit card and we placed an order. I, we, are now the proud owners of a Consolized MVS.
A what? A Neo-Geo MVS, not the Neo-Geo AES! What? A Neo-gatdamn-Geo that was used in the motherstuffin’ arcade. Consolized in a beautiful handcrafted wooden case. It contains the board from arcade machine, but is about the size of a SNES. Plays the cartridges from the arcade and can use any Neo-Geo controller!
I have been wanting a Neo-Geo since I was about ten, but the console and games were always out of my price range. Sometimes my mom would turn me loose in the mall. My pudgy, horizontal stripe wearing body would propel my large gourd like head to the arcade from time to time. I would stroll around trying to figure out what to spend my few begged for with the promise of chores doing dollars on. There were of course Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Simpson’s, Cadash, and Tecmo Knight to name a few. Then there was the red machine that would cycle through the four games it contained. With every splash screen the machine would yell out what game it was displaying. It was obvious this thing wanted my money. That was the Neo-Geo MVS. I remember playing Ninja Combat and Magician Lord with my cousin and Fatal Fury with my friends. Once I saved up my allowance and rented one. My best friend and I played King of Monsters and Robo Army all weekend long. I could feel the weight of the controller in my lap. Cartridges required two hands and I swear thunder and lighting should have been summoned as we inserted them.
Regardless of its age the Neo-Geo is still an incredible machine sought by collectors. In my opinion it is the pinnacle of 2-D pixel games. A lot of games were made over its fourteen year life with still more being made today. I will be busy gathering up the games that I require and maybe some new ones. Albeit slowly as the games haven’t come down in price all that much. this is seriously a gift for the record books. Thanks Bees, I love you.
Let’s face it. Science Fiction has been so inspirational to our technological evolution that it appears to be prophetic. Alright, our cars don’t fly and our skateboards don’t hover. Personally I blame Big Oil and Tony Hawk. However, we have put people in really expensive tin cans and shot them into space. Any day now we will begin terraforming Mars. We have little communicators and tablets that work almost everywhere. We have put buttons on the endangered species watch list. Big brother is tracking us – Hi! There is a new harbinger of world ending calamity each week. Whether it is natural disasters or ego’s of men, it seems to only be a matter of time for the human race. Science Fiction says our society won’t make it and machines will rise to replace it. If I do say so myself, now is a great time to choose your future robot overlord and affiliate yourself to a brand.
There are so many potential overlords to choose from, whether it be an OS, Web Browser or Web App. Best of all, at the moment it is a buyers market! All are quite literally tripping over one another to get your hard earned dollar and your valuable time. All we need to do to make the switch from consumer to consumed is start picking. I feel that diversity is important and will pick one from each of the three categories. I don’t want to have all my eggs in one basket when the robots come for me. Below is a glimpse and my criteria and process. Let’s take this journey together!
Some food for thought:
Want cybernetic implants and DNA spliced with a penguin? Linux is your boy!
Is having a good looking overlord important? Like turtlenecks and smug attitudes? Apple.
Like playing games, bro? Perhaps ease of use is important to you? Windows.
Want to end it all in a hurry? Internet explorer.
Like being fast and cool? Chrome.
Like being not quite as fast but still cool? Firefox
Is anonymity important to, whoever you are? Opera
Fancy an overlord with ADD? Get behind twitter.
Like a overlord that will show you pictures of its ugly kids? facebook is for you.
Enjoy having ADD and ugly kids in one place? Try Google+