World Vegan Day


It’s World Vegan Day today! I had no idea. As a simple vegetarian, I didn’t get the invite. I’m sure it got lost in the mail or something. I’ll go check the old inbox after this. Usually, on these made up holidays that aren’t recognized by the government, I post this little gem. However, I agree with this holiday. I think people and the world would be further ahead if we quit eating so much damn meat.

For me it isn’t even about people giving up meat cold tofurkey. It’s about reducing the intake. Talking people into not ordering meat sandwiches for lunch and then throwing half of it away. Driving home that meat doesn’t grow on trees. Making people realize that vegetables, seasonings, and sauces taste great and that meat tastes like iron, blood, and brown.

Don’t worry, I’m not one of the extreme types. There isn’t a militant bone in my body and my high horse is more of Shetland Pony* named Riverdance. In fact, one could say that “I’m the kind of vegetarian people want to drink a beer with.” And as long as that beer doesn’t contain fish bladder, bacon or whatever else over zealous meat eaters – in an attempt to experience meat at every juncture of their day – have put in beer, I’m down.

To further the point that I’m highly accepting and approachable, I’d like to share a story. A few years back I had a small bite of bacon. After not having meat for several years, I thought it was somewhat important to set foot back in The Den of Evil. To test myself and see if I was speaking the truth when I said I didn’t miss it. What I experienced was weird. The bacon was salty, gristly, smokey. The kind of salty smoked fat that makes foodies think they are fucking Gordon Ramsey when they toss a rasher on anything that would suck otherwise. My head spun at the thought of the life that had been lost in order for everyone to eat this bacon. How that life sucked.

The experience didn’t weaken me, it increased my resolve. It has been almost nine years since I cut out the meat. Yes, all meat, even in stocks and gravies. I don’t miss it and I feel great about it. When my wife and I became vegetarians we did it for ethical reasons. As the years went on environment and health benefits compounded on top of that. There are all sorts of great dishes that can be made. How couldn’t there be, when only one ingredient is missing?

I don’t need meat. You don’t need meat. We don’t need meat. It’s hard on the environment and our bodies. It doesn’t do all that much good. There are plenty of sources of protein, if muscle building is your thing. Quit leaning on that excuse because of your unoptimized diet and your weak sub-par will. Stop thinking it’s fine because everyone else is doing it. Your food habit is hurting so many beings that it is mind boggling. And when minds are boggled, senses of humor become uncalibrated. Everything becomes super serious. No one can tell if something is a joke or not.

Meat doesn’t make one funny. It does quite the opposite actually, making one think that “zingers” such as “plants have feelings,” and “I’m a meatetarian,” are funny. Jokes like that aren’t funny and are proof that you saw Paul Blart 2 in theaters. If you want to own up to that on top of slaughtering animals and being generally harder on the environment, then go right ahead, enjoy your burger. Tell yourself that it’s okay because you once thought about not eating meat, but decided it was too hard. Tell everyone that you’re an animal lover as you grind that cow between your teeth. Go crowd fund Paul Blart 4 on kickstarter. You’re already an asshole and a terrible human being.

“Ha ha! High-Ho Riverdance! Away!” Clop-baclop-baclop
*Can we even say Shetland Pony in this age of political correctness and the easily offended?


Remember to comment, share, and eat your vegetables.

Two Homeless Guys On A Bus

It came to light this week that two homeless men from Saskatchewan had ridden a bus to British Columbia. That doesn’t sound very interesting, but the why and how is. The Saskatchewan government provided the tickets. This is apparently not that unusual. Provincial governments have been known to purchase bus tickets for people who are out of province and need to get home. However, in this case the one-way tickets were out of province bound.

On the surface, it seems sleazy for a province to export its homeless. At the same time, the reason for all of this was a cut to funding. These two men had nowhere else to go. The spaces they currently had, had no more resources for them. They were getting kicked out and cut off. Climate wise, it would seem far better to be homeless in Vancouver than Northern Saskatchewan.

There were several soundbites regarding this issue. A lot of people were pissed off, as one would expect. Provinces should simply not export homeless to another province with no notice or plan. However I have a feeling that, if proper communication channels were used, the B.C. government would have ultimately shut it down. All the while these two men would have been fending for themselves.

Vancouver already has a homeless problem. A problem that it can’t seem to fix outright. A problem whose epicenter is right where everyone wants to develop. Which seems to be the only reason why the government cares in the first place. To that end, the municipal government’s solution is to load people up on buses and drop them off somewhere else. Basically, to thin the problem by spreading it out. There is one such example, literally two blocks away from the Vancouver and Burnaby border. Pretty much as far as they could legally move them. Out of sight, out of mind. That is the thing with Vancouver. The only reason why it wants to “fix” this issue is because it is right where the money is. As soon as homeless are out and zillion dollar buildings are going up, the issue will probably be considered resolved.

At the same time, British Columbia recently opened its doors to Syrian refugees. Exactly how many, I’m not certain. Definitely more than two. Is there a good plan in place to get them set up with places to live and work? Mostly, yet some still haven’t found a place to permanently reside yet; Vancouver housing problem much? Those relocated to other areas of the province seem to be finding residences and work. I am sure a few more logistical issues will arise as it seems impossible to transplant that many people smoothly.

What I am getting at is, if a country as a whole can bring in 10,000 refugees in with a plan that will work for a majority of them, then a municipal government should be able to handle two guys. I mean, it isn’t like they really care anyway. They will more than likely give them a bit of funding and a hand with the paperwork, then plop them down somewhere, never to think about them again. I guess accepting homeless guys just isn’t that trendy.