The Blaring of Trump’s Noise

So Much Noise…

Sweet Geezus, it’s a fucking quagmire! One no longer goes online without getting pulled into Trump bullshit. Whether it be for him, against him, or whatever the hell there is in between. There is simply so much shit, so many opinions. Who has the time for this? Does anyone really want to spend their time talking about this guy? Get a hobby! Play with a model train!

Otherwise, it’s like running into a lake from the shore. You’re tracking pretty well then you’re feet hit the water and you begin to slow, just a bit. As the water raises to half-calf, you begin to feel the drag and start waddling. You’re really high-kneeing it a step or two after. Your feet a sinking into the sand ever so slightly. That’s when it happens, you step off the shelf and fully fall in. You gasp as the icy grasp of water enshrouds your no-no’s. The gasp, causes water to enter your airway. You cough to force the water out or your airway and it sounds super disorienting as your underwater. In the state of discombobulation, you inhale once more to cough again. Which causes your lungs to fill. It’s at this point in time that you recall that you can’t even swim. Curious what you were doing running toward the lake with such excitement in the first place. You sink into the silty muck below.


This is more of an observation really. I mean, I’m guilty of contributing to the online noise. I’ve written plenty of blog posts, tweets, and even some facebook posts on the matter. Not that these do much good, or so I hear. People seem to pretty much have their minds made up and are unwilling to budge. I can appreciate that. It’s hard to convey a belief altering thought in a tweet and it’s even harder to find a headline that invites people to have their views challenged. Not to mention that you have to find a person willing to click it in the first place.

Keep On Being Loud!

That being said, in fact, all of this being said, keep doing it. That’s what we’re supposed to do. Acceptance is for people who don’t get the punchline to the joke that we’ve just been told. Complacency is for those who don’t even realize they’ve been told a joke. Keep posting stuff. Good, verifiable stuff. Try to stay as classy as possible. Don’t spread lies, that weakens the cause. Be sure to click on the other sides links to. Then read those things, with an open-ish mind, just in case there isn’t a literary flaming bag of shit inside of that article.

And if anyone wants to make an app or extension that filters out Trump stuff, that would be great. Although, I caution people not to run it all the time. Just when you need some time away.



I’m going to go buy a donut.

Trollin’ Hard

A little while ago, I earned the ire of full fledged Trump supporting internet troll. Some crazy angry, metaphorically green skinned wart covered creature straight out of D&D. Did I deserve it? Well, I wasn’t innocent in drawing his attention, but it was one little smart ass comment about Trump that got him all riled up. Next thing I knew, I had several messages from him. He was already pissed and after I retweeted one of his messages, all hell broke loose.

There was just so much hate festering inside this guy. Building up pressure from years of god knows what. All of it blasting forth like a pimple’s creamy center smacking up against the bathroom mirror. Honestly, Satan’s dilated zit encrusted sriracha sauce shootin’ anus with an asthmatic Darth Vader like turd hanging out of it is a less hateful thing. Ever watch a movie with a villain that is over the top evil or wants to blow up the earth? Ever think, What kind of asshole would actually want to do this? Yeah, that is an internet troll.

I responded a few times saying, I asked one question. It just seemed to piss him off more. He began threatening me and trying to draw attention from some of his south of three thousand followers. None of them showed up, but I wasn’t sure how much of a bad ass this guy actually was. Nor did I really feel like winning an argument against him. Like how cool would that actually be? Not very. Who am I going to boast to? No one. I figured it would just be best to not respond back anymore. Besides, what the hell could I do? I don’t have a degree in psychology nor do I have the ability to prescribe anti-psychotics. This guy was going to win and he may have been able to organize a crew. I couldn’t really tell.

During all this I was thinking, Jesus H! It must suck to be a female on social media. Here I am getting just the tip. Just one guy. For saying one little smart ass comment. If I had been a female, I can only assume that his friends and other like minded douche corvettes would have shown up. That the memes would have been more graphic and that the comments would have just kept coming. Which in reality didn’t happen. He went away.

Here’s the real kicker though. While all the stuff was going on. While I was getting lots of notifications and memes. While I was being accused of sending memes – which I hadn’t – and being a troll – which I guess I had been. While I was reading that I should look out for HIV needles and used condoms – something I don’t really get. I guess I was supposed to be offended, but being reasonable seemed to negate that. I thought to myself, in some other life. Perhaps he and I could actually get along on some level. Sure, we probably wouldn’t agree politically – unless my parents had done a terrible job raising me. Yet in all actuality, he is probably just some dude who wants some attention to have a purpose. Just like many of us.

Hashtag Ask Me’s.

When I woke up this morning the #ask for London’s Mayor, Boris Johnson, was trending. I don’t know who it is that thinks twitter is the best forum for creating a huge dialog such as this. Twitter is like everyone being shoved into an incredibly large room where everyone talks at once. Every now and then some people say “I like that!” and hit the favorite button. Occasionally someone likes something enough to repeat it word for word so they hit retweet. However there is a lot of ignoring. Not because people are being mean, it is because we are all in a huge freaking room talking all at once. Even the world’s best conversationalist couldn’t handle it.

Then rarely, yet often in recent memory somebody climbs one of the supportive beams to the rafters armed with a flashlight.

“Ask Me Anything!” They scream while shining the flashlight in their face.

“How did you get up there?” The first and decidedly british voice breaks the silence.

“I climbed.” A smug smile crawls across their face, This is going to be easy as pie, the ascentor foolishly thinks.

“What do you plan to do in the new year?”

“Do you blow dry or simply towel dry your hair?”

“Do you like it more when you or your wife wears the Nixon Mask?”

“What is it like to be an asshole?”

“You like having money, how about them poor people?”

“Do you beat women?”

“What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

A jolt is sent through the rafter as the supportive beam below shifts due to crushing weight of the mob below. Questions continue to be asked in a din that resembles zombified african killer bees. Which, at this point, being stuck in a room with them would be preferable.

If this were a press conference in the physical world, everybody would be raising their hands. Only people who actually invested in getting there would be there. Effort and resources would have been spent: fuel, time, money. On twitter anyone can pop by and ask a question.

“Would you help me get your Nigerian Prince Cousin out of prison?”

“Buy my book!”

“Buy my book!”

[Dick Pic]

“What’s the difference between a mallard and duck?”

What I am wondering is who are the PR twits that think this is a good idea? Are they young and naive fools fresh out of marketing school? Are they old schmos who don’t fully understand how the internets work, but hear all the kids are using it? Perhaps they are both.

“Hey what are you doing on your phone?” says the old marketingeer as they wipe the cobwebs from their eye sockets.

“I am tweeting!” says the dowey eyed youngling.

“You know how to do that! I put something in my objectives for the year about using twitter in a campaign! With my wisdom and your go getter attitude, we’ll take on the world!”

And you’ll make someone look like an idiot while doing it.

I’m Sorry, I Can’t Be Your Friend Anymore.

  That is a heavy sentiment. Regardless if it is conveyed through words or actions. Someone has done something to emotionally distress someone else. The end of a relationship. For whatever reason, these people can no longer cohabitate or interact. Hopefully, they were diligent in getting their loaned out belongings back. This is a life altering event, that should not be taken lightly or done in haste. So, why the hell do people do it on social media so easily?

  Every now and then on facebook, you may see a post in your feed. Someone is cleaning house. Getting rid of noninteractive friends. They may keep you, if you reply to the post and let them know you still care. Perhaps they don’t even announce it, you don’t even get a chance, and at some indiscernible point in the future you discover that you have been dumped. Why? It takes effort to unfriend people. Furthermore, it can cause the dumped to feel rejected or feel that they have done something wrong.

  I believe the main reason is the perceived line that some draw between internet life and real life. I suppose these are the kind of people that still have active yahoo accounts and type in in order to be redirected to It is an outdated view that has been widely accepted throughout the last twenty years. It needs to stop.

  There is no line! There hasn’t been one for a long time. What is facebook, if not one of the best examples of this. This platform has augmented our daily interactions and communications. A majority of facebook friends are actually people we have met in real life. Sure, some are more acquaintances than friends and some haven’t been seen in person in over a decade, but does that matter? Facebook’s algorithms help tailor your feeds. Unless you are constantly interacting with someone’s profile by clicking it or corresponding, they will eventually go away. If they aren’t going away fast enough, you can manually tailor them.

  If someone shared a link on urban falconry, you can opt to see fewer posts on the subject. If someone constantly posts NSFW images that you definitely want to see later, you can hide these posts from your feed. If you just are completely tired of someone, just unfollow them, you can still be friends. So when the need arises, you can still easily get in touch with one another. Just because they are annoying on social media does not necessarily mean they are annoying in person. When you are with them in person, do you listen to everything they say? When they start talking about the impact that My Little Pony has had on Obama’s Foreign Policy, do you actually listen? You probably tune them out, not unfriend them.

  I somehow doubt that back in the, eighteen whatevers, when the phone was in it infancy, that there was such a perceived line, between real life and the new form of communication. I doubt that Orville Reginald Moorehead would request the operator connect him to Hoobajoob Joe Brown Johnson III and once connected say, “I am sorry good fellow, I can no longer be your phone friend as I have far too many. See you in real life at the pub!”

  There is no divide between internet life and real life. If you do weird stuff on the internet, you are doing weird stuff in real life, that goes through the internet and ends up in someone else’s real life. The sooner society accepts that, the better. Quit unfriending people, unless they have truly wronged you! You both have over four hundred friends. You do not interact with one another. You are not on each others radar. Although, someday you might be and how awkward will having to re-friend be?