A few years back I inherited an old busted ass laptop from my sister in law. It had been handed down to her as well. I had to admit that it was slow and heavy. To top it all off, it had no WiFi.
The first thing I did was get a lightweight Linux distribution, Xubuntu, on it. Second thing I did was slap an Apple sticker on the back. How cool was I, plugging my heavy ass, blue and black, non-widescreen format laptop into the ethernet port at the coffee shop? I am sure some apple hipster was all “whoa look at that retro Mac that guy is pulling out of his back pack. Seriously, I hope he is lifting with his legs and not with his back!”
When we moved into our new place I told my wife I would get rid of it. I had put several more years on it and the hard drive would make clicking sounds and seemed generally unwell. It had been a fun ride over the past few years. Times are tough though and you got to give up some stuff to live in a better place.
I couldn’t bring myself to do it though and just drove around with it in the trunk for about a year. Then one night our car, along with several others in the parkade, was broken into. When we came down stairs the trunk had been thoroughly rifled through. The laptop was still there, but the lid was up. I guess the apple sticker had some curb appeal, although the dumb asses couldn’t read the Toshiba logo right by it I guess.
After that, I dragged the old girl back upstairs and she now sits on the file cabinet below my desk. She is up there in her years and can’t run much of anything these days. Recently I have been thinking about getting a new laptop. I spend most of my time writing so just something cheap, quick and light is all that I need. Aside from the lack of WiFi, I loved the portability of my old Ubuntu box.
Let’s face it. Science Fiction has been so inspirational to our technological evolution that it appears to be prophetic. Alright, our cars don’t fly and our skateboards don’t hover. Personally I blame Big Oil and Tony Hawk. However, we have put people in really expensive tin cans and shot them into space. Any day now we will begin terraforming Mars. We have little communicators and tablets that work almost everywhere. We have put buttons on the endangered species watch list. Big brother is tracking us – Hi! There is a new harbinger of world ending calamity each week. Whether it is natural disasters or ego’s of men, it seems to only be a matter of time for the human race. Science Fiction says our society won’t make it and machines will rise to replace it. If I do say so myself, now is a great time to choose your future robot overlord and affiliate yourself to a brand.
There are so many potential overlords to choose from, whether it be an OS, Web Browser or Web App. Best of all, at the moment it is a buyers market! All are quite literally tripping over one another to get your hard earned dollar and your valuable time. All we need to do to make the switch from consumer to consumed is start picking. I feel that diversity is important and will pick one from each of the three categories. I don’t want to have all my eggs in one basket when the robots come for me. Below is a glimpse and my criteria and process. Let’s take this journey together!
Some food for thought:
Want cybernetic implants and DNA spliced with a penguin? Linux is your boy!
Is having a good looking overlord important? Like turtlenecks and smug attitudes? Apple.
Like playing games, bro? Perhaps ease of use is important to you? Windows.
Want to end it all in a hurry? Internet explorer.
Like being fast and cool? Chrome.
Like being not quite as fast but still cool? Firefox
Is anonymity important to, whoever you are? Opera
Fancy an overlord with ADD? Get behind twitter.
Like a overlord that will show you pictures of its ugly kids? facebook is for you.
Enjoy having ADD and ugly kids in one place? Try Google+