Another Sunburn: How Could It Even Happen?

I got another sunburn. This is the second one in two months. While the last one took place on a warm, sunny day, this one happened on on that was cloudy and cold. That’s right, it’s colder halfway through June then it was about a month ago. I’ve worn shorts and t-shirts on many occasions this year. I’ve perspired to radiant levels of glow. Yet this weekend, I had to hike up the jeans, button a flannel shirt and a zip up hoodie. Yeah right, climate change is a hoax. I’m dressed like it’s March, but it’s the middle of June. Seriously, a sunburn and a cloudy day go together like peanut butter and chocolate.

I was on a boat tour. As such, I thought it prudent to layer up. I didn’t want to be freezing fifteen minutes into the journey. No one wants to be cold on a two hour tour of Harrison Lake. We kept echo island just off of our portside* the entire voyage. We saw the horned owl shaped rock formation at Echo Bay and then continued on to Rainbow Falls before heading back.

Traveling at breakneck speeds of eight miles an hour can whip up the breeze. My, Made In The U.S.A. and Indonesia, cloth armor deflected all cold damage for the most part. I’d prepared properly as far as the clothing was concerned.

The return trip had the head wind, so it was a tad cooler. As such, I had to zip up my hoodie that crucial last quarter of an inch and use an old lady as a wind shield. Don’t worry about her, she was bundled up in a winter jacket. My guess is, this wasn’t her first boat trip rodeo. Regardless, it didn’t help and I was still just a bit chilly.

My hoodie stayed zipped up when I was back on shore. The flannel shirt remained buttoned for most of the car trip home. In other words, it wasn’t hot.

At no point did I feel like I was in danger of getting another sunburn. Which is something that I’ve been trained to deduce. Recognizing the warning signs and symptoms is practically an act of my subconscious. Typically, I don’t even have to think about it, I just get the notion that something is out of whack. Then it’s evasive maneuvers. Apply sunblock, run inside screaming, or at the very least, walk in the shade.

The sun appeared every now and again. It was like playing flash light tag with that dipshit in safety orange suit with tons of reflectors. It would be hours before I would realize what had happened. Only once did I feel the sunburn sting set in when I scratched my forehead. That evening, I realized that, once again, whatever travesty the fair skinned people of the world have committed against the sun, had been avenged several times folded it.

How big of a loser am I? How do I get another sunburn on a cloudy day? That’s rhetorical. How does anyone even go about getting a sunburn on a cloudy day. Don’t answer that either. I don’t need any Bill Nye The Science Guy crap. That is, unless you are the real Bill Nye. In that case, “Welcome!” and comment away. Tell the internet how silly I am, Bill. Be sure to mention this on twitter. Drive some traffic my way. You owe me Bill Nye consumed and shared your content when you were starting out. Sure it was the eighties, but I did my part. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go slather on the aloe.


*No I didn’t have to google this. A true boatsman knows what’s up. Wait, boatsman is a real word? I figured it was a layman’s made up word, but it isn’t. Hm.

Sunburn


 

It’s been a long winter here in the Pacific Northwest. There was way more snow than usual. The kind of snow that screws up traffic and ruins New Year’s Eve. There were several noteworthy snowstorms this year. After the snow hightailed it, there was the rain, there is still the rain and it looks like it will start the raining anytime now. This is what we’ve been conditioned for. The rain is in our blood.

This time of year, there’s a never ending supply of rain. In spring, it can rain for a month. Sure there are breaks, this isn’t some biblical deluge. Yet, having cloudy, rainy skies every day can weigh on people. This year seems to be worse than usual as every five days or so, there is one really beautiful day. Hearts begin to thaw and dry. Hoodies come off, shorts come on or at least the hope is there. The next day, rain.

That’s what the last two days have been like. Yesterday was spectacular! I wore shorts for the first time this year. There was a breeze so I didn’t shed the hoodie, but having the sun out was wonderful. My wife, Bleu and I went to the local farmers market. Just in time too as it was the last one for the year. We picked up some beer, bread, and cheese. With our staples in tow, we headed to one of our favorite parks and had a little picnic of bread and cheese.

Have I mentioned that I’m fair-skinned? I’m not quite as bad as a stereotypical red head, but I am close. So after just a little bit of time in the sun, I start to cook. My saving grace is, I do tan after a while. Of course, that’s after many hours in the sun and several little stingy sessions. I know I could put on sunscreen, but it usually isn’t that bad. I’m also pretty good about realizing that I’m burning alive.

Yesterday however, I was unaware. There were some clouds. It was cool in the shade. For the love of all that is holy, I had a hoodie on! Then I got home. That’s when I realized that I was matching my red shirt quite well. At first glance, I wondered if I was just flushed. Did I just exert myself? Am I holding my breath? Am I crop dusting? No! To all of them. Hell nah! To some of them. I was sunburned!

This morning there was no sun. Only rain heavy clouds. Ready to spread their disgusting life giving moisture everywhere. I put on jeans, a flannel shirt and a hoodie. When I took the dogs out at lunch, I was still cold.

The good news is climate change isn’t real. I have it on high authority that it’s just a hoax. Even if it turns out to be true, still suits* are super cool. I mean, aside from drinking your own filtered moisture, having a tube shoved up your nose and being perpetually prepared for a BDSM party, the body will be covered up so, no sunburn. Yays!

 


Time for more aloe vera gel.

*Dune in the house!