Back In Your Ass With The Resurrection

Where the hell have I been? That weekly post sure didn’t come out last week. Nor was there any sort of little post saying what the hell was going on. Well, let me say that I’m sorry about that. I’ve been sick for days for damn near weeks. Yesterday was the first day that I actually felt and looked better. For days prior, yes, I was getting better, but I didn’t look it or sound it.

Sleazy chills, snotty nose and a cough that sometimes came with prizes and at other times, just wanted me to break a rib. In other words, I was gross. No one should have had to witness me. I probably would have been wet to the touch if my sweatpants hadn’t been “wicking” it away. My mind wasn’t in the game. I’d tried to do some writing and I barely got through the first three sentences of this post. Later I would have to rewrite it anyway and change the tense.

So I stopped and played World of Warcraft instead. Yeah. This is actually what I was going to write about. Two fridays ago, I resurrected my WoW account. I should say, I created a free account. I resurrected my account about five days later and have already let it slip into a state of disuse.

Anyway, as I created that free account, it felt like I was drunk. Like I wasn’t in control of my own actions. As if I were watching through my eyes as someone else controlled me and was doing some seriously squirrelly and out of character shit. That moment that I clicked okay and I was the proud owner of free account. I dismissed it, thought I probably wouldn’t really play. Told my wife and we both laughed it off.

Over the course of the next three days I took a character to the threshold of level 20 – for free. It was fantastic, I met other players. We LOL’ed, we killed stuff, we danced in some town. It was everything I remembered and yet better. I hadn’t played in ten years and that last bit was more dabbling that anything, but this seemed significantly different. I could solo like crazy. There wasn’t any wasted time. Tons of quests whose goals were in the same area. Go get this thing and kill ten of these things while you’re there, oh and grab five of these as well. Dopamine, anytime, all the time.

I liked it! That’s why I resurrected my old account and they gave me seven free days. Then, I realized how shitty my old characters were. I played for hours and didn’t run into anyone. So I made a new character on the server my free character* was on and leveled him to eighteen in one day. Not a full day mind you, just a normal sick day with some reading and acknowledgment of my wife’s existence.

It was still fun, I was into it. However, I was starting to feel better and WoW demands attention. It’s a thing that requires upkeep and time. Just like other important things in my life do. That’s why I had to let it go. Sorry, I can’t keep up with you, but you sure are fun.

*They can’t mingle for some reason

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Heatwave

I keep droppin’ lines in recent posts about how we are experiencing a heatwave. Now, it is time to just freakin’ make this topic front and center. Last weekend was freaking hot and if the sun wasn’t out and trying to burn me alive like it was trying to exact revenge on me for killing its father, it was humid. Even better, last weekend was apparently nothing to the weekend coming up! The north is on fire due to our incredibly dry conditions and scumbag smokers who don’t want their shame in the ashtrays of their vehicles.

Sunday morning was rough. I worked on some blog posts while sitting in front of the fan. In desperate need of coffee, I kept throwing the freshly brewed savior down my gullet. Soon I realized that I had become superheated, both inside and out. That is when I thought that if this were a superpower my name would be the “Human Smoldering Ember.” I could you know, just keep people warm and shit. People in a heatwave may view me as a villain, but when winter rolls around “Look who is happy to see me!” I scream with my arms wide open and my head wagging back and forth.

My wife and I went for walk after lunch and she mentioned that she was sweating and that she never sweats. I replied with “I can’t recall the last time I wasn’t sweating.” I feel like I was bit by a radioactive slug and have the lame ass power to be coated in some gross ass mucus like, sweat thing.

Anyone who comes up to me and says “What a beautiful day!” or “Yesterday was a beaut!” will get a canned response. With a volume level slightly more than it needs to be and perhaps a smokers lung intonation I will respond. “I can’t tell if I am wearing boxers or moist towelettes?