Live Short and Be Cheap: Ripped From The Canadian Headlines!

  The Supreme Court of Canada has made a historic decision this week. Overturning the ban on assisted suicide. At least for doctors and only for consenting people with certain yet-to-be clarified circumstances. I feel that it is a step in the right direction. A more humane direction. Congratulations humans, we have just gained the same rights that our pets have been exercising for years.

  Lifers, pro-lifers, or whatever they call themselves have come out of the woodwork spouting some weak statistics and facts. To sum it up, they say that Europe sucks and that innocent, non-consenting people are going to die. They also seem to think that giving up on life before it gets worse and leaving with a little bit of dignity are ungodly.

  I think their real issue is that none of them trust their children. They know full well that when they are old and decrepit, their kid is going to toss them in a care home and chuck a toaster in the walk-in tub.

  In other news, Target Canada is closing. That isn’t the news, we have known that for weeks. What we don’t know, apparently, is how liquidation sales work. On the first day of the sale, people lined up long before the stores were open. Mimicking scenes from Black Friday and Boxing Day sales. Primed and ready for some killer deals.

  Before lunch on Monday, the news had hit and has continued to hit for six days straight. Disappointment from coast to coast. One woman booed as she carried her bags out. Apparently not happy with the discounts, yet lacking the willpower to leave empty handed. I don’t know what she bought, but I can only hope it was a toaster and a walk-in tub.

  The sale started with deals of up to thirty percent off. No it isn’t a great deal, but it is what any intelligent person should expect. Stores don’t just give their stuff away right off the bat! Watch an episode of Pawn Stars! Go ahead and illegally download it, you cheap asses!

  Speaking of cheap asses, many people are glad to see Target go. Saying the prices were never as good as the U.S. stores. I don’t know how these surveyed geniuses expected that to work without Canada being annexed by the States, but apparently too many people thought the same way. Now we are losing a place to shop. Unfortunately, Target bought another chain so it could move here in the first place. Now we are down to Wal-Mart and Loblaw’s. Neither of which carry Cocoa Pebbles, however they both carry toasters.