I’m So Excited!

  People get so excited when they hear their favorite book, comic book, video game or whatever is going to be made into a TV show, movie, or other media. Regardless of who is attached as writer, director, or any other information. Mere seconds have passed since the announcement. People scream and shake with violent glee as they tweet their own casting calls and scream praise. Who is acting? Who is directing? Who is writing? “Errrrrrmaaaahhhgaaaaahhhhd! Going to be soooooooooo gooooooood.” Alright, who cares!

  Some people may slow down after thirty tweets and twitchily realize the potential for soiling something they love, is huge. Some will never realize it and walk blindly into season two of The Walking Dead. There will be confusion, anger, and people at work talking about the TV show adapted from a book they haven’t heard of. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad those people are watching it. This isn’t about elitism. We aren’t talking about them. [Grabs you by the shirt and shakes] We are talking about you and why you are so fucking excited! The dang thing was just announced via twitter three seconds ago! You don’t know a damn thing except someone is making another version of something you love! Oh look, here is the creepy android version of your mom! Good, but something isn’t quite right. [Lets go of shirt]

  Why get so excited about something you love getting made into another media? It is just another media. A media that quite possibly wasn’t the first choice because it wasn’t the best choice. You love the story the way it is. All six thousand pages! Why condense it to a two hour movie? How can you still be excited when you know they are going to expand a one hundred and twenty page book into a trilogy of three hour movies? You read it faster than you can watch it! What the hell! Casting! Writing! There are so many ways this stuff can go wrong and has. Do we even need to experience this? Could it be like having a coffee grinder that plays “La Cucaracha” when you use it? Mostly unnecessary, although amusing. Why are you so excited with such little information? See how it pans out, then get excited! This way, you won’t be disappointed. I’m just trying to protect you, like a bearded blogging big brother.

  To be honest though, I can’t wait for a Full House comic book. I’ve always wondered what would have happened in season nine. Plus, there could be a Joey vs. Doomsday issue.

  “That would be amazing! I’m going to google a pre-order right now!” You say.

  Don’t! Don’t you dare! You just failed your test! Have you learned nothing?

  “I think Keanu would portray your expansive range of cynical anger in Zweihander Plus Ein, the movie!”

  Don… You really think so? You think my hair is that good? That would be amazing.

  “And R. Lee Ermey would play you as an old man.”

  Now we’re talkin’! That one was bang-on!

  “You know that book you’ve been working would make a great movie and comic book! There is so much story there!”

  Man! You’re totally right! Who do you think would play the main characters? Errrmaahhhgaahd!

 Going to be soooooooooo gooooooood.  Ah, crap!

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Neo-Geo Acquired! Mission Accomplished.

  I recently had a birthday. While I don’t feel old, I am sure there is some parent’s hand me down iPhone wielding, tiny plastic skateboard riding, training hipster out there that will notify me that I am not a spring chicken. Anyway, I have been around a while. My wife felt that I should get a gift that matched the occasion. After getting me liquored up she got me to spill the beans on what kind of gift she could procure that would match the gravity of the situation. After we got home, she pulled out her credit card and we placed an order. I, we, are now the proud owners of a Consolized MVS.

  A what? A Neo-Geo MVS, not the Neo-Geo AES! What? A Neo-gatdamn-Geo that was used in the motherstuffin’ arcade. Consolized in a beautiful handcrafted wooden case. It contains the board from arcade machine, but is about the size of a SNES. Plays the cartridges from the arcade and can use any Neo-Geo controller!

  I have been wanting a Neo-Geo since I was about ten, but the console and games were always out of my price range. Sometimes my mom would turn me loose in the mall. My pudgy, horizontal stripe wearing body would propel my large gourd like head to the arcade from time to time. I would stroll around trying to figure out what to spend my few begged for with the promise of chores doing dollars on. There were of course Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Simpson’s, Cadash, and Tecmo Knight to name a few. Then there was the red machine that would cycle through the four games it contained. With every splash screen the machine would yell out what game it was displaying. It was obvious this thing wanted my money. That was the Neo-Geo MVS. I remember playing Ninja Combat and Magician Lord with my cousin and Fatal Fury with my friends. Once I saved up my allowance and rented one. My best friend and I played King of Monsters and Robo Army all weekend long. I could feel the weight of the controller in my lap.  Cartridges required two hands and I swear thunder and lighting should have been summoned as we inserted them.

  Regardless of its age the Neo-Geo is still an incredible machine  sought by collectors. In my opinion it is the pinnacle of 2-D pixel games. A lot of games were made over its fourteen year life with still more being made today. I will be busy gathering up the games that I require and maybe some new ones. Albeit slowly as the games haven’t come down in price all that much. this is seriously a gift for the record books. Thanks Bees, I love you.